Dear faithful readers,
This will be my last post. As of tomorrow, I shall be blogging on thisblogisverygood.blogspot.com on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Now some people would have their last post as a tearful goodbye to their faithful readers (of which I am sure that there are not many of them here) or go on a vengeful tyrade on how inadequate the readers have been reading this blog (something I am very tempted to do, but since I will be seeing most of the blog readers in real life I do not want to take the chance of getting beaten up the following day). And since my customary farewell would seem oddly self-serving, I will simply say...live long and prosper.
Sunday 6 December 2009
Tuesday 1 December 2009
lolol
So today i was driving home and i saw these dudes doing newspaper deliveries, like the ones in movies where a kid has a basket on his bike and throws newspapers onto peoples front lawns. Except these dudes were in their 'fooly syck' cars throwing newspapers out of the window.
So as their chucking their newspapers, this girl comes out of her home and runs to her mommy. the two guys then chuck a newspaper on the girls head extra hard and she falls over and im just like LOLOLOLOL ROFLMAO
So as their chucking their newspapers, this girl comes out of her home and runs to her mommy. the two guys then chuck a newspaper on the girls head extra hard and she falls over and im just like LOLOLOLOL ROFLMAO
Friday 30 October 2009
What's wrong with hamburgers?
I've decided to start blogging again coz the yearlies are over and i have nothing else to do, even tho im supposed to be doing my drama. And im jealous of vincent's blog.
Anyways, i was having a Big Mac today and i noticed that they now package them in boxes (its been a while since ive been to Maccas, mostly been going to KFC). and ive also noticed that on these boxes there's nutritional information. Now this is probably for those health freaks who think that hamburgers are bad for you. But tell me this. What is actually wrong with hamburgers?
Let's look at this from a nutritional standpoint. In a hamburger u have two slices of bread. There you have one serve of staple foods. Then you have ur slice of meat. One serve of meat. Unless u cheap out and by a cheeseburger, u get some lettuce or salad or whatnot. Serve of vegetables. and you may even get a slice of cheese. One serve of dairy. As you can see, you now have one serve from each of the five basic food groups.
What im trying to say here is that hamburgers are healthy for you. Or maybe im just trying to justify my own exorbitant consumption of them. Maybe i am....
Anyways, i was having a Big Mac today and i noticed that they now package them in boxes (its been a while since ive been to Maccas, mostly been going to KFC). and ive also noticed that on these boxes there's nutritional information. Now this is probably for those health freaks who think that hamburgers are bad for you. But tell me this. What is actually wrong with hamburgers?
Let's look at this from a nutritional standpoint. In a hamburger u have two slices of bread. There you have one serve of staple foods. Then you have ur slice of meat. One serve of meat. Unless u cheap out and by a cheeseburger, u get some lettuce or salad or whatnot. Serve of vegetables. and you may even get a slice of cheese. One serve of dairy. As you can see, you now have one serve from each of the five basic food groups.
What im trying to say here is that hamburgers are healthy for you. Or maybe im just trying to justify my own exorbitant consumption of them. Maybe i am....
Wednesday 22 April 2009
Asian Medicine
For those of you who may or may not know (if u do know that is really creepy) i have caught the cough (no, not the whooping cough alex). And frankly it feels wonderful. I get to sit on my desk all day long and get to do maths, because i cant go outside because i am too sick. I cant even go to the living room and watch television according to my parents because i am "too sick". This would be excellent if not twere it the school holidays, for if it twere not the school holidays i would be missing school. but it is the school holidays so i feel like shit.
Now as you all know, sometimes Asian parents have unusual remedies for illnesses, such as sleeping with LESS clothes on so that when u wake up and actually do put clothes on you feel relatively warmer. But i think my parents have gone a bit overboard with bullshit asian stories.
So, i agree, i do tend to spend rather too much time on my computer. And i do agree i should curb the habit. So my parents hatched this darstardly plan, to stop me from using my computer by saying that my cough was caused by my computer. Yes, apparently, the radiation from my computer screen monitor caused me to catch the cold. However, i would just like to point out a few problems with that arguement.
First of all, my computer screen is an LCD screen, meaning it emits no radiation.
Secondly, radiation causes cancer, and since normally people do not stick their throats out and try to irradiate their throats with something that has no radiation. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that i have throat cancer.
Thirdly, there is no scientific correlation between computer usage and coughing.
But wait, there's more. The one thing worse than the disease, is the cure. Ok, so first, ur asian parents will start you off with gargling salt water. Not, too bad since i usually always tip half of it in the drain. But ur cough prolongs, so what ur asian parents will do is resort to more 'unusual' remedies. Such as boiled pear. Now for those of you who do not know wat boiled pear tastes like it is this: it is soft and mushy on the outside, but hard on the inside. And not hard as in crisp, fresh hard. More like '0ld cheese' hard. And pear tastes shit anyway. Theyre like a crap version of an apple. And i dont even like apples. (my parents took the phrase 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' a bit too literally). But im branching off.
Just imagine the things that must have went through their minds! No,i dont think that i will give my son the scientifically proven antibiotics that he really needs, im going to give him some boiled pear.
P.S. If ur wondering why i am typing in this slightly snobbish manner, it is because i have been reading and watching Danny Wallace, who is british. Great writer though. Check out Join Me and Yes Man which he wrote BEFORE the movie.
Now as you all know, sometimes Asian parents have unusual remedies for illnesses, such as sleeping with LESS clothes on so that when u wake up and actually do put clothes on you feel relatively warmer. But i think my parents have gone a bit overboard with bullshit asian stories.
So, i agree, i do tend to spend rather too much time on my computer. And i do agree i should curb the habit. So my parents hatched this darstardly plan, to stop me from using my computer by saying that my cough was caused by my computer. Yes, apparently, the radiation from my computer screen monitor caused me to catch the cold. However, i would just like to point out a few problems with that arguement.
First of all, my computer screen is an LCD screen, meaning it emits no radiation.
Secondly, radiation causes cancer, and since normally people do not stick their throats out and try to irradiate their throats with something that has no radiation. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that i have throat cancer.
Thirdly, there is no scientific correlation between computer usage and coughing.
But wait, there's more. The one thing worse than the disease, is the cure. Ok, so first, ur asian parents will start you off with gargling salt water. Not, too bad since i usually always tip half of it in the drain. But ur cough prolongs, so what ur asian parents will do is resort to more 'unusual' remedies. Such as boiled pear. Now for those of you who do not know wat boiled pear tastes like it is this: it is soft and mushy on the outside, but hard on the inside. And not hard as in crisp, fresh hard. More like '0ld cheese' hard. And pear tastes shit anyway. Theyre like a crap version of an apple. And i dont even like apples. (my parents took the phrase 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' a bit too literally). But im branching off.
Just imagine the things that must have went through their minds! No,i dont think that i will give my son the scientifically proven antibiotics that he really needs, im going to give him some boiled pear.
P.S. If ur wondering why i am typing in this slightly snobbish manner, it is because i have been reading and watching Danny Wallace, who is british. Great writer though. Check out Join Me and Yes Man which he wrote BEFORE the movie.
Friday 10 April 2009
Toenails
So i was cutting my toenails today (it's disgusting i know but we all do it) when i realised how annoying this chore was. It's tiresome and sometimes u can't really reach the toenails with the clipper.
So i started thinking, WHO THE FUCK INVENTED TOENAILS? I'm sure Walter will sympathize since he has ingrown toenails. Okay, fine, i realise that they are supposed to protect our sensitive nerves in our toes, but then why the hell would u put nerves there when u know its going to hurt and ur going to hav to protect them anway? Same goes for fingernails but they are less annoying as you have never heard of anyone with ingrown fingernails.
Y dont we just even have toenails that dont grow? That would make our lives much more simpler. We wouldnt hav to cut them.
Same goes for hair. I hate getting haircuts. Why can't hair just grow to an appropriate length and then stop growing? This mite not be good news for fobs who want their hair extra long so they can get stupid haircuts, but it would save a lot of people a lot of time, money and embarrassment(Tim). I bet Sanji would agree, since he has to shave like every week or something, and that leg hair must drag down is 100m sprint time by like 0.001 seconds!
And if ur not with me on the hair thing, you must be with me on the toenail thing. They r the most annoying part of your body (apart from Tim, whose whole body is just an annoying lil punk).
To conclude, there is not much we can do about this whole toenail thing, so i guess the 2 minutes you spent reading this just wasted time that could have been spent cutting ur toenails, which means i am furthering the cause of the toenail's growth cycle, erego defeating the whole purpose of this entry while concordly just wasting ur time further by reading this effluent text..
k ill shut up now.
So i started thinking, WHO THE FUCK INVENTED TOENAILS? I'm sure Walter will sympathize since he has ingrown toenails. Okay, fine, i realise that they are supposed to protect our sensitive nerves in our toes, but then why the hell would u put nerves there when u know its going to hurt and ur going to hav to protect them anway? Same goes for fingernails but they are less annoying as you have never heard of anyone with ingrown fingernails.
Y dont we just even have toenails that dont grow? That would make our lives much more simpler. We wouldnt hav to cut them.
Same goes for hair. I hate getting haircuts. Why can't hair just grow to an appropriate length and then stop growing? This mite not be good news for fobs who want their hair extra long so they can get stupid haircuts, but it would save a lot of people a lot of time, money and embarrassment(Tim). I bet Sanji would agree, since he has to shave like every week or something, and that leg hair must drag down is 100m sprint time by like 0.001 seconds!
And if ur not with me on the hair thing, you must be with me on the toenail thing. They r the most annoying part of your body (apart from Tim, whose whole body is just an annoying lil punk).
To conclude, there is not much we can do about this whole toenail thing, so i guess the 2 minutes you spent reading this just wasted time that could have been spent cutting ur toenails, which means i am furthering the cause of the toenail's growth cycle, erego defeating the whole purpose of this entry while concordly just wasting ur time further by reading this effluent text..
k ill shut up now.
Tuesday 31 March 2009
Postive stuff
So, ive been hearing that my blog is made up of purely negative comments about society and the world around me. And i respect that. its true. To those people who have pointed this out, i would like to first of all thank them for reading this blog and for their feedback. Secondly i would like them to just take a step back and literally FUCK THEIR FACES!!!
No, seriously though, i take all feedback seriously and i would like to compile a list of positive things that i DO like.
1. Rainy days, even if i do get wet.
2. Superheroes (if u havent noticed yet then get THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG!!!)
3. Food
4. Watching movies
5. Watching TV
6. Sleeping
7. Building stuff (like model cars)
8. Cars (like fast cars, not motherfucking kias)
9. The Batpod
10. public holidays.
So to those people who gave me this inspiration to write this blog, i owe a huge debt to you. Now why don't u just SHUT THE FUCK UP and let me continue writing my blog?
No, seriously though, i take all feedback seriously and i would like to compile a list of positive things that i DO like.
1. Rainy days, even if i do get wet.
2. Superheroes (if u havent noticed yet then get THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG!!!)
3. Food
4. Watching movies
5. Watching TV
6. Sleeping
7. Building stuff (like model cars)
8. Cars (like fast cars, not motherfucking kias)
9. The Batpod
10. public holidays.
So to those people who gave me this inspiration to write this blog, i owe a huge debt to you. Now why don't u just SHUT THE FUCK UP and let me continue writing my blog?
Thursday 19 March 2009
Charity for personal gain
You know wat i hate? well, probably a lot of things but the thing that is really pissing me off rite now is the fact that my parents want to give charity so that they can gain something. I dont know about other asian parents but my parents are like that. For instance, today i just told them i wanted to go to the 50th anniversary fete. Wat did they say? go take some food so u can give it to them so that ur name will be up there and ull get a better impression from your teachers. I was just silent because i know it is useless arguing with ur parents (although i did convince them im not taking food for that stupid reason and i cbb) but wat i really wanted to say to them was 'NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!' not the teachers not the students fucking hell even i dont care. If u want me to go take food at least give a more noble reason.
U mite be thinking at this point that my parents are just thinking of an excuse because deep down they actually want to be charitable. Well let me say this: They paid $500 to the school building donation thingy so that 'my teachers would get a better impression since ur name and stuff is attached to it' but they didnt give a single cent to the Victorian bushfire appeal.
People who give charity because they think it will bring them good karma are also pathetic. Being charitable because u think their mite be something in it for u is bad. Not only because it is extremely selfish and two-faced, but because u probably wont get wat u were looking for and ull just get angry at the world. And that is why it is a stupid idea.
btw charity for non personal gain is greatly encouraged. Join the Karma Army at the Join Me website and do good deeds every Friday! Join at http://www.join-me.co.uk/index.html
P.S. nothing to blog about that funny chem teacher aaron coz we had some lameass boring teacher although i did laugh at him wen he said 'sit down ladies.'
Also graffitied RayRay's book with superhero symbols and Why so serious as well as adding the word 'balls' to the end of 'Marbig'
U mite be thinking at this point that my parents are just thinking of an excuse because deep down they actually want to be charitable. Well let me say this: They paid $500 to the school building donation thingy so that 'my teachers would get a better impression since ur name and stuff is attached to it' but they didnt give a single cent to the Victorian bushfire appeal.
People who give charity because they think it will bring them good karma are also pathetic. Being charitable because u think their mite be something in it for u is bad. Not only because it is extremely selfish and two-faced, but because u probably wont get wat u were looking for and ull just get angry at the world. And that is why it is a stupid idea.
btw charity for non personal gain is greatly encouraged. Join the Karma Army at the Join Me website and do good deeds every Friday! Join at http://www.join-me.co.uk/index.html
P.S. nothing to blog about that funny chem teacher aaron coz we had some lameass boring teacher although i did laugh at him wen he said 'sit down ladies.'
Also graffitied RayRay's book with superhero symbols and Why so serious as well as adding the word 'balls' to the end of 'Marbig'
Wednesday 18 March 2009
Walter
Bored so im just gonna talk about walter, my fav person.
Have you ever noticed that while everyone has something deep, meaningful or witty to say (eg. Kevin- You only get once in a lifetime to find love, or Allan - Statistics show that teenage pregnancy significantly drops off after the age of 25) walter always has something self-pitiful or stupid to say (eg. 'ger.. my teeth', or 'why does everyone hate me?') Stay tuned for other non-exagerated tales of walter's stupidity
P.S. Walter told me he once walked into a pole.
Have you ever noticed that while everyone has something deep, meaningful or witty to say (eg. Kevin- You only get once in a lifetime to find love, or Allan - Statistics show that teenage pregnancy significantly drops off after the age of 25) walter always has something self-pitiful or stupid to say (eg. 'ger.. my teeth', or 'why does everyone hate me?') Stay tuned for other non-exagerated tales of walter's stupidity
P.S. Walter told me he once walked into a pole.
Tuesday 17 March 2009
Work Experience
So last week everyone had work experience. I personally thought this was a good thing because it would be just a massive bludge for a whole week. However, as it turned out, it became a adventure, albeit a mostly shit one filled with hilarious moments at other people's expense.
I'll start off with myself. So, you would imagine that working at a hospital would be like in House or something right? Wrong. It is even more boring than All Saints and even Triple Zero Heroes is making it seem more exciting than it really is. What you get to do in a hospital is just talking to fucking retarded people.
So firstly, i went to the maternity ward, where the nurse had to look after 4 babies. it was boring. nothing to do or see except for babies shitting in their nappies. So the next day medical ward. Also boring standing around watching old people with dementia get sponge baths and watch the nurse take the blood pressure etc. etc. It also stinks. The ward, not the nurse.
Outpatients department where the guy thought he was some sort of uber important person and kept all the drugs locked even though u cant get high off them or anything. Also watched the nurse play 10 games of solitaire in her room and then turns around and says "Are you still here?" like i hadnt been there before.
Surgical ward: Now this may sound exciting but is boring as shit. It's old people with broken legs and have to stay in the hospital to recover. Thiswas the worst ward. The lady wouldn't go on break so i literally had to stand for 7 hours (my work hours) straight and watch her give sponge baths to people with dementia who had broken their bones or watever. And i saw a cathode getting inserted into a mans urethra and immediatley blood oozed out.
Paediatric Ward: just full of kids who came out from surgery and stuff like that. However, these were no ordinary kids, these were stuck up assholes who were used to getting everything now becoz they were sick. As a result there were only 4 words to say to them - SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
Operating theatre: Now this may sound exciting but really all i got to see was this kid who got his tooth pulled out.
Emergency Ward: this was the most exciting ward. I saw a guy with half a finger and his friend was holding the other half. When the nurse told him to put the half finger in a jar it made a very coin like sound. Oh and also, there was this guy, around 15 or so, came in to the EMERGENCY department and then said he thought he swallowed a chicken bone and now had diarrohea. When asked what was the size the chicken bone was, he didnt know. When asked if he swallowed a chicken bone at all, he wasnt sure. WTF MAN!!! ITS A FUCKING EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT AND U DON'T KNOW WHETHER U SWALLOWED A CHICKEN BONE THAT WAS SO SMALL IT COULD FIT DOWN UR FUCKING OESOPHAGUS? Well that was wat was going through my mind and i had to conjure up my best profressionalism to avoid from laughing although i was grinning like an incredible idiot.
Other people's work experience were even more eventful. Flako on his first day got to clean a woman's foot ulcer and saw a woman who "fell asleep while running and broke her leg." although i now noe that she was running, broke her leg and then fell asleep, which is still pretty funny. Alex had a confrontation with a rascist bogan which can be seen at tinyurl.com/alexVSbogan
But who would hav guessed the funniest things happened to walter..
Im going to dedicate a whole paragraph to him. Well first of all, he gave an old woman a sponge bath. Whereas i just hav to watch (which i didnt, a sign on the door seemed incredibly fascinating at the time) walter actually had to physically touch the old woman. After wards when his doctor ditched him in a CT scan room he had to clothe a naked old lady. And here's the coup de grace: I don't know how but an old woman shitted somewhere maib the floor. The doctor ASKED him if he wanted to clean up the shit or he could get a nurse to do it. Normally people would get the nurse rite?.. coz ur not "experienced" enough, but NOOO, walter wanted to take the initiative, walter wanted to look pro, walter wanted to be admired by the doctor, so walter volunteered to clean up the shit.
Sorry if this post is a bit long but hey, walter cleaned up shit. If u hav any more work experience hilarity then please post in the cbox.
If you hav scrolled down this far, u deserve a special treat. An especially hilarious story about Amol. This was what Tim told me... So the doctor's talking about cell mutation to Tim and Amol, saying how that 80% mutation of the cells is rare and 20% mutation is the average. So then Amol asks the question (in a typical Amol stoner voice) "So what if there's no cell mutation?" and the doctor says "Errr.... well then the cell's normal" and gives him a wtf look. So after the talk and when the doctor leaves Amol says to tim (in the stoner voice) "Err.. I think that guy thinks I'm stupid" LOL!!!
I'll start off with myself. So, you would imagine that working at a hospital would be like in House or something right? Wrong. It is even more boring than All Saints and even Triple Zero Heroes is making it seem more exciting than it really is. What you get to do in a hospital is just talking to fucking retarded people.
So firstly, i went to the maternity ward, where the nurse had to look after 4 babies. it was boring. nothing to do or see except for babies shitting in their nappies. So the next day medical ward. Also boring standing around watching old people with dementia get sponge baths and watch the nurse take the blood pressure etc. etc. It also stinks. The ward, not the nurse.
Outpatients department where the guy thought he was some sort of uber important person and kept all the drugs locked even though u cant get high off them or anything. Also watched the nurse play 10 games of solitaire in her room and then turns around and says "Are you still here?" like i hadnt been there before.
Surgical ward: Now this may sound exciting but is boring as shit. It's old people with broken legs and have to stay in the hospital to recover. Thiswas the worst ward. The lady wouldn't go on break so i literally had to stand for 7 hours (my work hours) straight and watch her give sponge baths to people with dementia who had broken their bones or watever. And i saw a cathode getting inserted into a mans urethra and immediatley blood oozed out.
Paediatric Ward: just full of kids who came out from surgery and stuff like that. However, these were no ordinary kids, these were stuck up assholes who were used to getting everything now becoz they were sick. As a result there were only 4 words to say to them - SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
Operating theatre: Now this may sound exciting but really all i got to see was this kid who got his tooth pulled out.
Emergency Ward: this was the most exciting ward. I saw a guy with half a finger and his friend was holding the other half. When the nurse told him to put the half finger in a jar it made a very coin like sound. Oh and also, there was this guy, around 15 or so, came in to the EMERGENCY department and then said he thought he swallowed a chicken bone and now had diarrohea. When asked what was the size the chicken bone was, he didnt know. When asked if he swallowed a chicken bone at all, he wasnt sure. WTF MAN!!! ITS A FUCKING EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT AND U DON'T KNOW WHETHER U SWALLOWED A CHICKEN BONE THAT WAS SO SMALL IT COULD FIT DOWN UR FUCKING OESOPHAGUS? Well that was wat was going through my mind and i had to conjure up my best profressionalism to avoid from laughing although i was grinning like an incredible idiot.
Other people's work experience were even more eventful. Flako on his first day got to clean a woman's foot ulcer and saw a woman who "fell asleep while running and broke her leg." although i now noe that she was running, broke her leg and then fell asleep, which is still pretty funny. Alex had a confrontation with a rascist bogan which can be seen at tinyurl.com/alexVSbogan
But who would hav guessed the funniest things happened to walter..
Im going to dedicate a whole paragraph to him. Well first of all, he gave an old woman a sponge bath. Whereas i just hav to watch (which i didnt, a sign on the door seemed incredibly fascinating at the time) walter actually had to physically touch the old woman. After wards when his doctor ditched him in a CT scan room he had to clothe a naked old lady. And here's the coup de grace: I don't know how but an old woman shitted somewhere maib the floor. The doctor ASKED him if he wanted to clean up the shit or he could get a nurse to do it. Normally people would get the nurse rite?.. coz ur not "experienced" enough, but NOOO, walter wanted to take the initiative, walter wanted to look pro, walter wanted to be admired by the doctor, so walter volunteered to clean up the shit.
Sorry if this post is a bit long but hey, walter cleaned up shit. If u hav any more work experience hilarity then please post in the cbox.
If you hav scrolled down this far, u deserve a special treat. An especially hilarious story about Amol. This was what Tim told me... So the doctor's talking about cell mutation to Tim and Amol, saying how that 80% mutation of the cells is rare and 20% mutation is the average. So then Amol asks the question (in a typical Amol stoner voice) "So what if there's no cell mutation?" and the doctor says "Errr.... well then the cell's normal" and gives him a wtf look. So after the talk and when the doctor leaves Amol says to tim (in the stoner voice) "Err.. I think that guy thinks I'm stupid" LOL!!!
Friday 20 February 2009
i have to write this down before i forget it. I was listening to the radio like a week ago, and there was this ad for this science thing where it shows cool inventions and stuff, and then on the ad it says that u can see the underwater lawnmower. Now i thought to myself, why the fck would u need an underwater lawnmower. It's so stupid. r u going to mow the seaweed or something? or is it for when climate change happens and then u will have to mow ur lawn underwater, but in that case u should be worrying more about the rising sea level.
this invention got me thinking. who invents all this crap? who funds the inventors to make underwater lawnmowers. and who else does all those shit lameass jobs no one ever thinks about, like making stationery, and developing software for chess games.
this invention got me thinking. who invents all this crap? who funds the inventors to make underwater lawnmowers. and who else does all those shit lameass jobs no one ever thinks about, like making stationery, and developing software for chess games.
Monday 9 February 2009
The SpiderTran Song
SpiderTran, SpiderTran,
Does whatever a tranny can,
Eats a meal, any size,
Catches thieves just like pies
Look Out! Here comes the SpiderTran.
Is he strong? Listen bud, He once ate 30 potato spuds.
Can he swing from a thread No he can't, He's a Tran
Hey, there There goes the SpiderTran.
In the chill of night
When it is dinner time
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.
SpiderTran, SpiderTran
Friendly neighborhood SpiderTran
Wealth and fame He's ingnored
Extra food is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
Wherever there's a ketchup
You'll find the SpiderTran
Does whatever a tranny can,
Eats a meal, any size,
Catches thieves just like pies
Look Out! Here comes the SpiderTran.
Is he strong? Listen bud, He once ate 30 potato spuds.
Can he swing from a thread No he can't, He's a Tran
Hey, there There goes the SpiderTran.
In the chill of night
When it is dinner time
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.
SpiderTran, SpiderTran
Friendly neighborhood SpiderTran
Wealth and fame He's ingnored
Extra food is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
Wherever there's a ketchup
You'll find the SpiderTran
Friday 6 February 2009
My Trip to China
Man. What a shithole. China is the worst holiday destination i have ever been to. And its really a shame that its my only one as well.
Srsly wtf. I have to stay at my grandma's place which is literally the size of my backyard. It doesnt even have a shower. No shower for 3 WEEKS! Even i felt disgusted at myself. and i actually just lay in bed until 11am so that i could avoid having breakfast with my annoying grandmother who insists on saying 'good morning' in the most annoying fob accent ever. EVERY MORNING! Speaking of my grandma, almost all the ppl in china are annoying. they are either like alvin or an even more fob version of raymond (yes it is possible).
And my grandma kept on telling me to eat. Like eat an apple or eat a bannana or have a cup of water. I would have never have thought that ppl telling me to eat would be annoying but srsly she tells me to eat an apple every five minutes even when ive just had one. WELL I DONT WANT A FUCKING APPLE. CHINESE APPLES TASTE LIKE SHIT! And the water is horrible. U mite as well do a science experiment with the amount of chlorine in the water. I actually vomited the first day back after i had a cup of water and i was really thirsty from the airport.
China is also UNBELIEVABLY boring. At my grandma's place anyway. Yes, u get to get pirated crap. But wats the use when u don't have a computer? Or even a DVD player? Chinese TV is so crap apart from those stephen chow movies. Their ads are so cheesy and obviously stupid. watever they say, eating chocolate biscuits does not make a kid work faster or harder and does not raise their IQ, otherwise id be a fucking genius.
The celebrities who make the ads are also stupid. It's understandable that jay chou does an ad for sprite, but most of the celebrities make ads for food. Like Jackie Chan does ads for dumplings...and ice tea. WTF? Im pretty sure he didnt eat dumplings and ice tea to pull off those stunts. And wats with Happy Niu Year? That is the lamest slogan i have ever come across.
The clothing stores are also crap. I think they are especially designed to make men bored. Who the fuck would build a 10 storey building and then fill it with clothes? And all of them look the same. As soon as u walk in a clothing store u will want to lie down and die. Mostly my mums fault for spending nearly 5 hours just walking around different shops and all she did was by 2 bedsheets. So i bought pirated crap there, whcih was pretty cheap, but it wasnt worth the shit i had to go through. go get someone else to go to china for you and tell them to bring it for u.
So apart from my grandmas shithole 'house', the shops, the TV and the ads china is actually a nice place to go to. But don't go in winter becuase its so fucking cold u'll get a brainfreeze 24/7 and dont go in summer becoz its fucking hot. Like hotter than in Australia. So the moral of the story is not to go to china.
Srsly wtf. I have to stay at my grandma's place which is literally the size of my backyard. It doesnt even have a shower. No shower for 3 WEEKS! Even i felt disgusted at myself. and i actually just lay in bed until 11am so that i could avoid having breakfast with my annoying grandmother who insists on saying 'good morning' in the most annoying fob accent ever. EVERY MORNING! Speaking of my grandma, almost all the ppl in china are annoying. they are either like alvin or an even more fob version of raymond (yes it is possible).
And my grandma kept on telling me to eat. Like eat an apple or eat a bannana or have a cup of water. I would have never have thought that ppl telling me to eat would be annoying but srsly she tells me to eat an apple every five minutes even when ive just had one. WELL I DONT WANT A FUCKING APPLE. CHINESE APPLES TASTE LIKE SHIT! And the water is horrible. U mite as well do a science experiment with the amount of chlorine in the water. I actually vomited the first day back after i had a cup of water and i was really thirsty from the airport.
China is also UNBELIEVABLY boring. At my grandma's place anyway. Yes, u get to get pirated crap. But wats the use when u don't have a computer? Or even a DVD player? Chinese TV is so crap apart from those stephen chow movies. Their ads are so cheesy and obviously stupid. watever they say, eating chocolate biscuits does not make a kid work faster or harder and does not raise their IQ, otherwise id be a fucking genius.
The celebrities who make the ads are also stupid. It's understandable that jay chou does an ad for sprite, but most of the celebrities make ads for food. Like Jackie Chan does ads for dumplings...and ice tea. WTF? Im pretty sure he didnt eat dumplings and ice tea to pull off those stunts. And wats with Happy Niu Year? That is the lamest slogan i have ever come across.
The clothing stores are also crap. I think they are especially designed to make men bored. Who the fuck would build a 10 storey building and then fill it with clothes? And all of them look the same. As soon as u walk in a clothing store u will want to lie down and die. Mostly my mums fault for spending nearly 5 hours just walking around different shops and all she did was by 2 bedsheets. So i bought pirated crap there, whcih was pretty cheap, but it wasnt worth the shit i had to go through. go get someone else to go to china for you and tell them to bring it for u.
So apart from my grandmas shithole 'house', the shops, the TV and the ads china is actually a nice place to go to. But don't go in winter becuase its so fucking cold u'll get a brainfreeze 24/7 and dont go in summer becoz its fucking hot. Like hotter than in Australia. So the moral of the story is not to go to china.
My First Blog
So this is my first blog. I probably wont hav much to put into this and it'll probably be empty for most of the time and the only reason i started this blog was bcoz some ad asked me if i wanted to start a blog and i said yes. U mite be thinking that i came up with the title becoz im sort of lameass batman fan, but no. It was Vincent who ingeniously gave me the idea that i should call my blog the batcave. and the website domain was also vincents idea.
Most of the time i think i'll just write about stuff that pisses me off, like that ass-scratcher Nadal who beat Federer. I mean like wtf. Get bigger pants or something. Apparently Nadal's really superstitious and puts his towels and bottles in the exact same position every match. Probably wears the same underwear and pants since he finished high school for good luck.
i'll also post anything funny i see or hear about. like christian bale getting pissed off so bad at something which seems so stupid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLXVuy0h29c
man thats hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48&feature=related This is even better.
i think thats enough for the first blog.
Most of the time i think i'll just write about stuff that pisses me off, like that ass-scratcher Nadal who beat Federer. I mean like wtf. Get bigger pants or something. Apparently Nadal's really superstitious and puts his towels and bottles in the exact same position every match. Probably wears the same underwear and pants since he finished high school for good luck.
i'll also post anything funny i see or hear about. like christian bale getting pissed off so bad at something which seems so stupid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLXVuy0h29c
man thats hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48&feature=related This is even better.
i think thats enough for the first blog.
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