Sunday 6 December 2009

LAST POST EVER!!!

Dear faithful readers,

This will be my last post. As of tomorrow, I shall be blogging on thisblogisverygood.blogspot.com on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Now some people would have their last post as a tearful goodbye to their faithful readers (of which I am sure that there are not many of them here) or go on a vengeful tyrade on how inadequate the readers have been reading this blog (something I am very tempted to do, but since I will be seeing most of the blog readers in real life I do not want to take the chance of getting beaten up the following day). And since my customary farewell would seem oddly self-serving, I will simply say...live long and prosper.

Tuesday 1 December 2009

lolol

So today i was driving home and i saw these dudes doing newspaper deliveries, like the ones in movies where a kid has a basket on his bike and throws newspapers onto peoples front lawns. Except these dudes were in their 'fooly syck' cars throwing newspapers out of the window.
So as their chucking their newspapers, this girl comes out of her home and runs to her mommy. the two guys then chuck a newspaper on the girls head extra hard and she falls over and im just like LOLOLOLOL ROFLMAO

Friday 30 October 2009

What's wrong with hamburgers?

I've decided to start blogging again coz the yearlies are over and i have nothing else to do, even tho im supposed to be doing my drama. And im jealous of vincent's blog.

Anyways, i was having a Big Mac today and i noticed that they now package them in boxes (its been a while since ive been to Maccas, mostly been going to KFC). and ive also noticed that on these boxes there's nutritional information. Now this is probably for those health freaks who think that hamburgers are bad for you. But tell me this. What is actually wrong with hamburgers?

Let's look at this from a nutritional standpoint. In a hamburger u have two slices of bread. There you have one serve of staple foods. Then you have ur slice of meat. One serve of meat. Unless u cheap out and by a cheeseburger, u get some lettuce or salad or whatnot. Serve of vegetables. and you may even get a slice of cheese. One serve of dairy. As you can see, you now have one serve from each of the five basic food groups.

What im trying to say here is that hamburgers are healthy for you. Or maybe im just trying to justify my own exorbitant consumption of them. Maybe i am....

Wednesday 22 April 2009

Asian Medicine

For those of you who may or may not know (if u do know that is really creepy) i have caught the cough (no, not the whooping cough alex). And frankly it feels wonderful. I get to sit on my desk all day long and get to do maths, because i cant go outside because i am too sick. I cant even go to the living room and watch television according to my parents because i am "too sick". This would be excellent if not twere it the school holidays, for if it twere not the school holidays i would be missing school. but it is the school holidays so i feel like shit.

Now as you all know, sometimes Asian parents have unusual remedies for illnesses, such as sleeping with LESS clothes on so that when u wake up and actually do put clothes on you feel relatively warmer. But i think my parents have gone a bit overboard with bullshit asian stories.

So, i agree, i do tend to spend rather too much time on my computer. And i do agree i should curb the habit. So my parents hatched this darstardly plan, to stop me from using my computer by saying that my cough was caused by my computer. Yes, apparently, the radiation from my computer screen monitor caused me to catch the cold. However, i would just like to point out a few problems with that arguement.
First of all, my computer screen is an LCD screen, meaning it emits no radiation.
Secondly, radiation causes cancer, and since normally people do not stick their throats out and try to irradiate their throats with something that has no radiation. Therefore, it is highly unlikely that i have throat cancer.
Thirdly, there is no scientific correlation between computer usage and coughing.

But wait, there's more. The one thing worse than the disease, is the cure. Ok, so first, ur asian parents will start you off with gargling salt water. Not, too bad since i usually always tip half of it in the drain. But ur cough prolongs, so what ur asian parents will do is resort to more 'unusual' remedies. Such as boiled pear. Now for those of you who do not know wat boiled pear tastes like it is this: it is soft and mushy on the outside, but hard on the inside. And not hard as in crisp, fresh hard. More like '0ld cheese' hard. And pear tastes shit anyway. Theyre like a crap version of an apple. And i dont even like apples. (my parents took the phrase 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' a bit too literally). But im branching off.
Just imagine the things that must have went through their minds! No,i dont think that i will give my son the scientifically proven antibiotics that he really needs, im going to give him some boiled pear.


P.S. If ur wondering why i am typing in this slightly snobbish manner, it is because i have been reading and watching Danny Wallace, who is british. Great writer though. Check out Join Me and Yes Man which he wrote BEFORE the movie.

Friday 10 April 2009

Toenails

So i was cutting my toenails today (it's disgusting i know but we all do it) when i realised how annoying this chore was. It's tiresome and sometimes u can't really reach the toenails with the clipper.
So i started thinking, WHO THE FUCK INVENTED TOENAILS? I'm sure Walter will sympathize since he has ingrown toenails. Okay, fine, i realise that they are supposed to protect our sensitive nerves in our toes, but then why the hell would u put nerves there when u know its going to hurt and ur going to hav to protect them anway? Same goes for fingernails but they are less annoying as you have never heard of anyone with ingrown fingernails.
Y dont we just even have toenails that dont grow? That would make our lives much more simpler. We wouldnt hav to cut them.

Same goes for hair. I hate getting haircuts. Why can't hair just grow to an appropriate length and then stop growing? This mite not be good news for fobs who want their hair extra long so they can get stupid haircuts, but it would save a lot of people a lot of time, money and embarrassment(Tim). I bet Sanji would agree, since he has to shave like every week or something, and that leg hair must drag down is 100m sprint time by like 0.001 seconds!

And if ur not with me on the hair thing, you must be with me on the toenail thing. They r the most annoying part of your body (apart from Tim, whose whole body is just an annoying lil punk).

To conclude, there is not much we can do about this whole toenail thing, so i guess the 2 minutes you spent reading this just wasted time that could have been spent cutting ur toenails, which means i am furthering the cause of the toenail's growth cycle, erego defeating the whole purpose of this entry while concordly just wasting ur time further by reading this effluent text..

k ill shut up now.

Tuesday 31 March 2009

Postive stuff

So, ive been hearing that my blog is made up of purely negative comments about society and the world around me. And i respect that. its true. To those people who have pointed this out, i would like to first of all thank them for reading this blog and for their feedback. Secondly i would like them to just take a step back and literally FUCK THEIR FACES!!!

No, seriously though, i take all feedback seriously and i would like to compile a list of positive things that i DO like.

1. Rainy days, even if i do get wet.
2. Superheroes (if u havent noticed yet then get THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG!!!)
3. Food
4. Watching movies
5. Watching TV
6. Sleeping
7. Building stuff (like model cars)
8. Cars (like fast cars, not motherfucking kias)
9. The Batpod
10. public holidays.

So to those people who gave me this inspiration to write this blog, i owe a huge debt to you. Now why don't u just SHUT THE FUCK UP and let me continue writing my blog?

Thursday 19 March 2009

Charity for personal gain

You know wat i hate? well, probably a lot of things but the thing that is really pissing me off rite now is the fact that my parents want to give charity so that they can gain something. I dont know about other asian parents but my parents are like that. For instance, today i just told them i wanted to go to the 50th anniversary fete. Wat did they say? go take some food so u can give it to them so that ur name will be up there and ull get a better impression from your teachers. I was just silent because i know it is useless arguing with ur parents (although i did convince them im not taking food for that stupid reason and i cbb) but wat i really wanted to say to them was 'NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!' not the teachers not the students fucking hell even i dont care. If u want me to go take food at least give a more noble reason.
U mite be thinking at this point that my parents are just thinking of an excuse because deep down they actually want to be charitable. Well let me say this: They paid $500 to the school building donation thingy so that 'my teachers would get a better impression since ur name and stuff is attached to it' but they didnt give a single cent to the Victorian bushfire appeal.

People who give charity because they think it will bring them good karma are also pathetic. Being charitable because u think their mite be something in it for u is bad. Not only because it is extremely selfish and two-faced, but because u probably wont get wat u were looking for and ull just get angry at the world. And that is why it is a stupid idea.
btw charity for non personal gain is greatly encouraged. Join the Karma Army at the Join Me website and do good deeds every Friday! Join at http://www.join-me.co.uk/index.html

P.S. nothing to blog about that funny chem teacher aaron coz we had some lameass boring teacher although i did laugh at him wen he said 'sit down ladies.'
Also graffitied RayRay's book with superhero symbols and Why so serious as well as adding the word 'balls' to the end of 'Marbig'