i have to write this down before i forget it. I was listening to the radio like a week ago, and there was this ad for this science thing where it shows cool inventions and stuff, and then on the ad it says that u can see the underwater lawnmower. Now i thought to myself, why the fck would u need an underwater lawnmower. It's so stupid. r u going to mow the seaweed or something? or is it for when climate change happens and then u will have to mow ur lawn underwater, but in that case u should be worrying more about the rising sea level.
this invention got me thinking. who invents all this crap? who funds the inventors to make underwater lawnmowers. and who else does all those shit lameass jobs no one ever thinks about, like making stationery, and developing software for chess games.

The SpiderTran Song

SpiderTran, SpiderTran,
Does whatever a tranny can,
Eats a meal, any size,
Catches thieves just like pies
Look Out! Here comes the SpiderTran.
Is he strong? Listen bud, He once ate 30 potato spuds.
Can he swing from a thread No he can't, He's a Tran
Hey, there There goes the SpiderTran.
In the chill of night
When it is dinner time
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.
SpiderTran, SpiderTran
Friendly neighborhood SpiderTran
Wealth and fame He's ingnored
Extra food is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
Wherever there's a ketchup
You'll find the SpiderTran

My Trip to China

Man. What a shithole. China is the worst holiday destination i have ever been to. And its really a shame that its my only one as well.
Srsly wtf. I have to stay at my grandma's place which is literally the size of my backyard. It doesnt even have a shower. No shower for 3 WEEKS! Even i felt disgusted at myself. and i actually just lay in bed until 11am so that i could avoid having breakfast with my annoying grandmother who insists on saying 'good morning' in the most annoying fob accent ever. EVERY MORNING! Speaking of my grandma, almost all the ppl in china are annoying. they are either like alvin or an even more fob version of raymond (yes it is possible).

And my grandma kept on telling me to eat. Like eat an apple or eat a bannana or have a cup of water. I would have never have thought that ppl telling me to eat would be annoying but srsly she tells me to eat an apple every five minutes even when ive just had one. WELL I DONT WANT A FUCKING APPLE. CHINESE APPLES TASTE LIKE SHIT! And the water is horrible. U mite as well do a science experiment with the amount of chlorine in the water. I actually vomited the first day back after i had a cup of water and i was really thirsty from the airport.

China is also UNBELIEVABLY boring. At my grandma's place anyway. Yes, u get to get pirated crap. But wats the use when u don't have a computer? Or even a DVD player? Chinese TV is so crap apart from those stephen chow movies. Their ads are so cheesy and obviously stupid. watever they say, eating chocolate biscuits does not make a kid work faster or harder and does not raise their IQ, otherwise id be a fucking genius.

The celebrities who make the ads are also stupid. It's understandable that jay chou does an ad for sprite, but most of the celebrities make ads for food. Like Jackie Chan does ads for dumplings...and ice tea. WTF? Im pretty sure he didnt eat dumplings and ice tea to pull off those stunts. And wats with Happy Niu Year? That is the lamest slogan i have ever come across.

The clothing stores are also crap. I think they are especially designed to make men bored. Who the fuck would build a 10 storey building and then fill it with clothes? And all of them look the same. As soon as u walk in a clothing store u will want to lie down and die. Mostly my mums fault for spending nearly 5 hours just walking around different shops and all she did was by 2 bedsheets. So i bought pirated crap there, whcih was pretty cheap, but it wasnt worth the shit i had to go through. go get someone else to go to china for you and tell them to bring it for u.

So apart from my grandmas shithole 'house', the shops, the TV and the ads china is actually a nice place to go to. But don't go in winter becuase its so fucking cold u'll get a brainfreeze 24/7 and dont go in summer becoz its fucking hot. Like hotter than in Australia. So the moral of the story is not to go to china.

My First Blog

So this is my first blog. I probably wont hav much to put into this and it'll probably be empty for most of the time and the only reason i started this blog was bcoz some ad asked me if i wanted to start a blog and i said yes. U mite be thinking that i came up with the title becoz im sort of lameass batman fan, but no. It was Vincent who ingeniously gave me the idea that i should call my blog the batcave. and the website domain was also vincents idea.

Most of the time i think i'll just write about stuff that pisses me off, like that ass-scratcher Nadal who beat Federer. I mean like wtf. Get bigger pants or something. Apparently Nadal's really superstitious and puts his towels and bottles in the exact same position every match. Probably wears the same underwear and pants since he finished high school for good luck.

i'll also post anything funny i see or hear about. like christian bale getting pissed off so bad at something which seems so stupid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLXVuy0h29c
man thats hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTihsJQHt48&feature=related This is even better.

i think thats enough for the first blog.