Work Experience

So last week everyone had work experience. I personally thought this was a good thing because it would be just a massive bludge for a whole week. However, as it turned out, it became a adventure, albeit a mostly shit one filled with hilarious moments at other people's expense.

I'll start off with myself. So, you would imagine that working at a hospital would be like in House or something right? Wrong. It is even more boring than All Saints and even Triple Zero Heroes is making it seem more exciting than it really is. What you get to do in a hospital is just talking to fucking retarded people.

So firstly, i went to the maternity ward, where the nurse had to look after 4 babies. it was boring. nothing to do or see except for babies shitting in their nappies. So the next day medical ward. Also boring standing around watching old people with dementia get sponge baths and watch the nurse take the blood pressure etc. etc. It also stinks. The ward, not the nurse.
Outpatients department where the guy thought he was some sort of uber important person and kept all the drugs locked even though u cant get high off them or anything. Also watched the nurse play 10 games of solitaire in her room and then turns around and says "Are you still here?" like i hadnt been there before.
Surgical ward: Now this may sound exciting but is boring as shit. It's old people with broken legs and have to stay in the hospital to recover. Thiswas the worst ward. The lady wouldn't go on break so i literally had to stand for 7 hours (my work hours) straight and watch her give sponge baths to people with dementia who had broken their bones or watever. And i saw a cathode getting inserted into a mans urethra and immediatley blood oozed out.
Paediatric Ward: just full of kids who came out from surgery and stuff like that. However, these were no ordinary kids, these were stuck up assholes who were used to getting everything now becoz they were sick. As a result there were only 4 words to say to them - SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
Operating theatre: Now this may sound exciting but really all i got to see was this kid who got his tooth pulled out.
Emergency Ward: this was the most exciting ward. I saw a guy with half a finger and his friend was holding the other half. When the nurse told him to put the half finger in a jar it made a very coin like sound. Oh and also, there was this guy, around 15 or so, came in to the EMERGENCY department and then said he thought he swallowed a chicken bone and now had diarrohea. When asked what was the size the chicken bone was, he didnt know. When asked if he swallowed a chicken bone at all, he wasnt sure. WTF MAN!!! ITS A FUCKING EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT AND U DON'T KNOW WHETHER U SWALLOWED A CHICKEN BONE THAT WAS SO SMALL IT COULD FIT DOWN UR FUCKING OESOPHAGUS? Well that was wat was going through my mind and i had to conjure up my best profressionalism to avoid from laughing although i was grinning like an incredible idiot.

Other people's work experience were even more eventful. Flako on his first day got to clean a woman's foot ulcer and saw a woman who "fell asleep while running and broke her leg." although i now noe that she was running, broke her leg and then fell asleep, which is still pretty funny. Alex had a confrontation with a rascist bogan which can be seen at tinyurl.com/alexVSbogan
But who would hav guessed the funniest things happened to walter..

Im going to dedicate a whole paragraph to him. Well first of all, he gave an old woman a sponge bath. Whereas i just hav to watch (which i didnt, a sign on the door seemed incredibly fascinating at the time) walter actually had to physically touch the old woman. After wards when his doctor ditched him in a CT scan room he had to clothe a naked old lady. And here's the coup de grace: I don't know how but an old woman shitted somewhere maib the floor. The doctor ASKED him if he wanted to clean up the shit or he could get a nurse to do it. Normally people would get the nurse rite?.. coz ur not "experienced" enough, but NOOO, walter wanted to take the initiative, walter wanted to look pro, walter wanted to be admired by the doctor, so walter volunteered to clean up the shit.

Sorry if this post is a bit long but hey, walter cleaned up shit. If u hav any more work experience hilarity then please post in the cbox.




























If you hav scrolled down this far, u deserve a special treat. An especially hilarious story about Amol. This was what Tim told me... So the doctor's talking about cell mutation to Tim and Amol, saying how that 80% mutation of the cells is rare and 20% mutation is the average. So then Amol asks the question (in a typical Amol stoner voice) "So what if there's no cell mutation?" and the doctor says "Errr.... well then the cell's normal" and gives him a wtf look. So after the talk and when the doctor leaves Amol says to tim (in the stoner voice) "Err.. I think that guy thinks I'm stupid" LOL!!!