My Trip to China

Man. What a shithole. China is the worst holiday destination i have ever been to. And its really a shame that its my only one as well.
Srsly wtf. I have to stay at my grandma's place which is literally the size of my backyard. It doesnt even have a shower. No shower for 3 WEEKS! Even i felt disgusted at myself. and i actually just lay in bed until 11am so that i could avoid having breakfast with my annoying grandmother who insists on saying 'good morning' in the most annoying fob accent ever. EVERY MORNING! Speaking of my grandma, almost all the ppl in china are annoying. they are either like alvin or an even more fob version of raymond (yes it is possible).

And my grandma kept on telling me to eat. Like eat an apple or eat a bannana or have a cup of water. I would have never have thought that ppl telling me to eat would be annoying but srsly she tells me to eat an apple every five minutes even when ive just had one. WELL I DONT WANT A FUCKING APPLE. CHINESE APPLES TASTE LIKE SHIT! And the water is horrible. U mite as well do a science experiment with the amount of chlorine in the water. I actually vomited the first day back after i had a cup of water and i was really thirsty from the airport.

China is also UNBELIEVABLY boring. At my grandma's place anyway. Yes, u get to get pirated crap. But wats the use when u don't have a computer? Or even a DVD player? Chinese TV is so crap apart from those stephen chow movies. Their ads are so cheesy and obviously stupid. watever they say, eating chocolate biscuits does not make a kid work faster or harder and does not raise their IQ, otherwise id be a fucking genius.

The celebrities who make the ads are also stupid. It's understandable that jay chou does an ad for sprite, but most of the celebrities make ads for food. Like Jackie Chan does ads for dumplings...and ice tea. WTF? Im pretty sure he didnt eat dumplings and ice tea to pull off those stunts. And wats with Happy Niu Year? That is the lamest slogan i have ever come across.

The clothing stores are also crap. I think they are especially designed to make men bored. Who the fuck would build a 10 storey building and then fill it with clothes? And all of them look the same. As soon as u walk in a clothing store u will want to lie down and die. Mostly my mums fault for spending nearly 5 hours just walking around different shops and all she did was by 2 bedsheets. So i bought pirated crap there, whcih was pretty cheap, but it wasnt worth the shit i had to go through. go get someone else to go to china for you and tell them to bring it for u.

So apart from my grandmas shithole 'house', the shops, the TV and the ads china is actually a nice place to go to. But don't go in winter becuase its so fucking cold u'll get a brainfreeze 24/7 and dont go in summer becoz its fucking hot. Like hotter than in Australia. So the moral of the story is not to go to china.